Paw

I dislike this time of year. Don't get me wrong, I love this time of year for the weather, the changing seasons, getting jackets out again, and preparing for the cold that is sure to come up here in Wisconsin. What I don't like is that this time of year is full of such sadness. As I mentioned in my last post, my grandfather and brother passed away in 2013. Today is the two-year anniversary of my Paw's death. Six days from now is the day my brother was born. Plus, it's the start of the big holidays, none of which are as joyous as they once were now that two people who should be there, aren't. But I'm not looking for sympathy. While today is sad in some respects, it's also a day for reflection and celebration.

Paw was the perfect example of what a man — no, a person — should be. Kind, loving, generous, determined, persistent, honest, well-spoken, educated (though, not in the ways of academia), forthright, trustworthy, and appreciative, amongst other things. And, while today is sad because I really wish I could chat with him on Facebook and give him a hug, I'm more happy to just spend some time remembering him and all the good memories I have of him.

One particular memory goes way back, yet still feels like yesterday. For as long as I can remember, Paw would put his arm around you and firmly clap you on the back, and somehow, it was like he cupped his hand and always managed to hit the small of your back. He did this always. It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel good either, and it certainly made you squirm. I think he got a kick out of it. :-) Even now, I feel that loving sting.

I don't remember this picture, but this is one of my favorites of me and Paw. Me, as a little kidlet, picking at his toe. It's perfect, and perfectly captures the pure inquisitiveness of a child. (Also, how is it possible that this was 30 years ago?!)

Shortly after Paw died, Nana sent me this photocopy of a note Paw had written. I have it hanging on the wall in the hallway and I look at it every day. This is my daily reminder (in addition to the photo of me, him, and David that hangs by the door) of Paw. And I love and miss him dearly.

"One of the most important keys to success is having the discipline to do what you know what you should do, even when you don't feel like it."